Titbits

Languages used in Carnatic Music & Literature
venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#1 Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 25 Nov 2013, 15:01

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes
him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars,
so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over , the country’s gone to hell, so it's a local call."
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#2 Re: Tit Bits

Post by venkatakailasam » 25 Nov 2013, 15:03

Interviewer said “I shall either ask you 10 easy questions or 1 really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!”

The boy thought for a while and said, “my choice is 1 really difficult question.” “Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.

“What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, “It’s the DAY sir!”

“How” the interviewer asked.

“Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

He was selected for IIM!
0 x

Rsachi
Posts: 5039
Joined: 31 Aug 2009, 13:54
Location: Bangalore
x 2
x 30

#3 Re: Tit Bits

Post by Rsachi » 25 Nov 2013, 19:15

Dear Venkat sir,
As someone who went to IIM, let me tell you that they don't ask such tough questions.
The source of your story is this.
A famous millionaire NRI CEO asked his local manager to hire an executive assistant for himself the CEO. After many tough rounds of interviews, three really brilliant IIT IIM grads were shortlisted.
The manager, a panchewing CM buff, popped the big question to each- what comes first, Night or Day.
The first guy, smart dude from Delhi, answered of course 'night.' when pressed to explain, he said, 'sir it is obvious your question was symbolic. India was under foreign rule first, representing Night. As Nehruji said, India got freedom and then came Day.'

The second guy was a marwari from Bombay. He answered, 'sir, first was Day. Then came darkness, in terms of government controls etc. Naturally India entered the Night.'

The third was a kudmi-sporting Madrassi. He answered, 'sir, it depends. You see, if you're where the sun is shining, you start with Day. At that exact instant, if you're watching a CM Web cast from the opposite side of the globe, you have Night first.'

All splendid, smart Alec answers, right?

So who finally got the job?











None of the three. The manager's nephew got it.
0 x

Nick H
Posts: 8768
Joined: 03 Feb 2010, 02:03
x 429
x 219

#4 Re: Tit Bits

Post by Nick H » 25 Nov 2013, 19:28

The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over , the country’s gone to hell.
Sorry, but even a joke should be based on valid premise.

I don't know when America went to hell, and sure, Obama has been a huge disapointment for those who hpoed for improvement, but the names Reagan and Bush would be way up the list of people who took it there.

(And Reagan's buddy Mad-Cow Thatcher took UK to hell --- so that call should have been local too)
0 x

cmlover
Posts: 11498
Joined: 02 Feb 2010, 22:36
x 4

#5 Re: Titbits

Post by cmlover » 26 Nov 2013, 06:43

You missed out on Indira Gandhi who was also there.
When the phone was handed to her she called Sonya and chatted for 2 hrs.
When she finished the devil handed her a check for 38 billion dollars.
When queried he winked his eye and said it was intended for Sonya for the favour of the use of the Wireless Spectrum.
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#6 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 01 Dec 2013, 08:38

A little boy was doing his maths homework, saying to himself, 2+5 the son of bitch is 7.. 3+6 the son of bitch is 9.

His mother heard this & gasped "what r u doing?" the little boy answered, "I'm doing my math's homework Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?"
"Yes", he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher next day,
"Are you teaching maths to children by saying 2+2, the son of bitch is 4?"
The teacher started laughing, and answard "what I taught them was, 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4"
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#7 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 01 Dec 2013, 19:45

No comments...

Image
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#8 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 13 Dec 2013, 16:28

DO YOU KNOW THIS. SOME I DID NOT.

=================================
*Q: Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes
have buttons on the left*
*A: When buttons were invented they were very expensive and worn primarily
by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push
buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were
dressed by maids dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And
that's where women's buttons have remained since.*

*Q: Why do ships and aircraft use 'mayday' as their call for help
A: This comes from the French word m'aidez - meaning 'help me' --
and is pronounced, approximately, 'mayday.'*

*Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'
A: In France, where tennis became popular, the round zero on the
scoreboard looked like an egg and was called 'l'oeuf,'
which is French for 'the egg.' When tennis was introduced
in the US Americans (mis)pronounced it 'love.'*

*Q. Why do Xs at the end of a letter signify kisses
A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or
write, documents were often signed using an X.
Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations
specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.*

*Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else
called 'passing the buck'
A: In card games it was once customary to pass an item, called a
buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a
player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing he would 'pass
the buck' to the next player.*

*Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast
A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by
offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was
safe it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink
into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously.
When a guest trusted his host he would only touch or clink the
host's glass with his own.*

*Q: Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight'*
*A: Invented in 1825 limelight was used in lighthouses and theatres by
burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the
theatre, a performer 'in the limelight' was the centre of attention.*

*Q: Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'**
A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain,
with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine
that person is floating well above worldly cares.*

*Q: In golf, where did the term 'Caddie' come from*
*A. When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl
Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game 'golf.'
He had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment.
To make sure she was properly chaperoned
(and guarded) while she played Louis hired cadets from a military school to
accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when returned to Scotland (not a
very good idea in the long run) she took the practice with her. In French,
the word cadet is pronounced 'ca-day' and the Scots changed it into
caddie.*

*Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs*
*A: Long ago dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay
called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay the jars
became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the
word he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.*


from Did you know..
0 x

cmlover
Posts: 11498
Joined: 02 Feb 2010, 22:36
x 4

#9 Re: Titbits

Post by cmlover » 13 Dec 2013, 20:36

Thanks for the Info!
Are there more such interesting facts?
0 x

vasanthakokilam
Posts: 10906
Joined: 03 Feb 2010, 00:01
x 8
x 36

#10 Re: Titbits

Post by vasanthakokilam » 14 Dec 2013, 06:14

I used to wonder about the button thing. That is a brilliant explanation.
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#11 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 16 Dec 2013, 06:44

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

I would have given him 100%

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * I t will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? * Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack...

Let's be happy, even while we're here !!
0 x

cmlover
Posts: 11498
Joined: 02 Feb 2010, 22:36
x 4

#12 Re: Titbits

Post by cmlover » 16 Dec 2013, 07:13

Some more
Q: why 80% of people in India are poor? * because they are not rich
Q: how far is it from chennai to delhi? * just as far as it is from delhi to chennai
Q: how much is 2+3? * just same as 3+2
Q: will there be rain at chennai tomorrow? * yes, if it rains
Q: who is the wife of Manmohan Singh? * the one he is married to
Q: which is the largest country in the world? * the one which is bigger than every other country in the world
Q: what is the question for which there is no answer? * no

You can add many more...
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#13 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 10 Jan 2014, 12:18

A Mama and Mami advertisement.....

http://www.mamamami.in/

See the video also..
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#14 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 17 Jan 2014, 13:40

Image
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#15 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 20 Jan 2014, 14:48

Einstein....
----------------------------
- Great minds do not ponder over small things!

Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally, when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" He would invariably argue. Everyone knows me there." When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. "Why should I?" Said Einstein. "No one knows me there!

=======================================================

Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity.

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," he once declared.

"Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!"
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#16 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 28 Jan 2014, 04:44

Conspiracy By Rahul Gandhi to kill or massacre Modi Supporters by making them laugh to death by his interview with Arnab Goswami

Arnab Goswami: Rahul..the country wants to know from you your plans.... how can india win wc 2015...

Rahul Gandhi : first we need to empower women ...then ....

Arnab - How are the 1984 and 2002 riots different?
RaGa - The 1984 and 2002 riots are different. They are different... because they are not same.. they are..umm..not same, Look we brought RTI, we passed lokpal, we have 6 bills in the parliament.

A - No, my question is How are the 1984 and 2002 riots different?
R -Yes, they are different. women need to be empowered, our party has taken steps. We have brought RTI and LOKPAL, we have 6 bills sitting in the parliament.

A - No, Mr Gandhi, you are still not telling me how are the 1984 and 2002 riots different?
R - We have always said they are different. We gave you the RTI. We gave you lokpal. Look we need to empower women. We need to bring youngsters in the party.

A - Don't you think you are a retard?
R - Yes, you see we gave the people of this country Lokpal. We gave you RTI, we are bringing youngsters. We are empowering women.

via: Frustrated Indian...

Above jokes apart, hear is tha actual interview...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB_eWW5t ... e=youtu.be

Image
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#17 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 29 Jan 2014, 17:07

Arnab Goswami came home tired and irritated.

His wife asked him, ‘Shall we have dinner?’ Arnab replied, ‘The moon is white.

’ His wife was confused.

She said, ‘Shall we go out for dinner?’

Arnab replied, ‘Traffic signal consists of Red, Yellow and Green color.’

His wife was surprised and worried.

She said, ‘Shall we have Chinese food today?’

Arnab replied, ‘A Zoo has many animals.’

Now his wife could not take it anymore.

She said, ‘Why are you not answering my questions? Why are you giving some irrelevant answers? I am getting fed up…

’ Arnab replied compassionately, ‘Sorry Darling. I just wanted to make you experience what I have undergone in the last two hours in the studios.

I have just now recorded first ever interview of Pappu...
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#18 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 01 Feb 2014, 19:53

Full security to an ATM!!

Image
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#19 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 06 Feb 2014, 22:03

GODISNOWHERE

Image
0 x

cmlover
Posts: 11498
Joined: 02 Feb 2010, 22:36
x 4

#20 Re: Titbits

Post by cmlover » 07 Feb 2014, 00:59

Actually it is
GOD I SNOW HERE {/b]
Which is what we seem to be getting all this winter :(
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#21 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 11 Feb 2014, 11:39

Image
0 x

cmlover
Posts: 11498
Joined: 02 Feb 2010, 22:36
x 4

#22 Re: Titbits

Post by cmlover » 11 Feb 2014, 22:44

MOM: Because if my purse is gone I am totally lost.
But if you are gone I am totally free :)
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#23 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 19 Feb 2014, 06:21

Madras...now Chennai in 1950s when Tram cars were plying....

Image
0 x

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16
x 1

#24 Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam » 22 Feb 2014, 08:07

Image
0 x

Pratyaksham Bala
Posts: 3300
Joined: 21 May 2010, 16:57
x 94
x 73

#25 Re: Titbits

Post by Pratyaksham Bala » 22 Feb 2014, 11:39

0 x

Post Reply