Titbits

Languages used in Carnatic Music & Literature
thanjavooran
Posts: 2972
Joined: 03 Feb 2010, 04:44

Re: Titbits

Post by thanjavooran »

Sri Kanchi Kamakoti Peetam Calendar ​From Apr 2015 ~ April 2016

VERY IMPRESSIVE ............ Great Photos of Acharias !!!!

​ Please find Sri Kanchi Kamakoti Peetam calendar ​from Apr 2015 ~ April 2016. This can be viewed and can be downloaded too from the link given below.

http://goo.gl/JLvTZe

Pl. download and enjoy browsing thro'.
(includes all Hindu festivals, Star/Thithi with Timings and in
English)

Thanjavooran
16 03 2015

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16

Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam »

KEEP LAUGHING !
A Chinese man married an African woman and had a child.

Two months later the child passed away.

At the funeral house, the African woman kept sobbing and saying: "I KNEW IT !!! I KNEW IT !!!"

A family member pulled her aside and asked:

"What did you know?"

She replied: "That, Chinese products don't last long!!"

VK RAMAN
Posts: 5009
Joined: 03 Feb 2010, 00:29

Re: Titbits

Post by VK RAMAN »

This Chinese joke brought giggle in me. Thanks.

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16

Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam »

On wife's b'day, man ordered a cake on phone.
Salesman: Wat msg to put on d cake?
Man: Write "Getting older but U R getting better."
Salesman: kaise likhna hai msg?
Man: Well.. put "U R getting older" at the top and "but U R getting better" at d bottom.
When d cake was opened all guests died laughing at d msg.
It read: "You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom!"

Moral:- Don't order cakes over phone..

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16

Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam »

Barack Obama was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

'Hello, Mr. Obama!' and heavily accented voice said, 'This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!'

'Well, Gurmukh,' Obama replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army?'

'Right now,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight.'

Obama paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Arrey O! Main kya..' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring you back!'

Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.

'Mr. Obama, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment.'

'And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh?' Obama asked.

'Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor.'

Obama sighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.'

'Oh teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.

'Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne.... .. We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!'

Obama was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'

'Tera bhala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.

'Kiddan, Mr.Obama! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Obama. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'

'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of war!!'

NOW, THAT'S CALLED PUNJABI CONFIDENCE!!

vgovindan
Posts: 1865
Joined: 07 Nov 2010, 20:01

Re: Titbits

Post by vgovindan »

"பணத்துக்காக வாழறதில்லைங்க; வாழறத்துக்காக பணம்"

https://www.facebook.com/nammatrichy/ph ... =1&theater

venkatakailasam
Posts: 4170
Joined: 07 Feb 2010, 19:16

Re: Titbits

Post by venkatakailasam »

A engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop...
He went to him & said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums....!
The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running."

classic!
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Continuation
.Engineer. Revenge
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The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said
I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . . . . . But can you ???
Not only classic but Epic

thanjavooran
Posts: 2972
Joined: 03 Feb 2010, 04:44

Re: Titbits

Post by thanjavooran »

Secret of Grandpa
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday. Everybody complimented him on how healthy, athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
"I will tell you the secret of my success," Grandpa said, "My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding day, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had an argument, or fight, the one who proved wrong would go outside and take a walk for 5 kms. Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."
One friend further asked, ‘But your wife is also slim and energetic?’
Grandpa said, ‘that is another secret, my wife use to follow me behind checking whether I go for 5 kms or sit in a park!!!.'
Thanjavooran
14 03 2018

thanjavooran
Posts: 2972
Joined: 03 Feb 2010, 04:44

Re: Titbits

Post by thanjavooran »

A share

Mathematician Ramanujam didn’t have any close friends and someone asked him the reason. He replied that although he wanted to have close friends but nobody was up to his expectations.

When pressed how he expected his friend to be, he replied, "like numbers 220 and 284!"

The person got confused and asked what is the connection between friendship and these numbers!

Ramanujam asked him to find the divisors of each number!

With much difficulty, the person derived and listed them as,

220 → 1,2,4,5,10,11,20,22,44,55,110,220

284 →1,2,4,71,142,284

Ramanujam then asked the person to exclude the numbers 220 and 284 and asked the sum of the remaining divisors.

The person was astonished to find,

220 → 1+2+4+5+10+11+20+22+44+55+110=284

284 →1+2+4+71+142=220

Ramanujam explained that an ideal friendship should be like these numbers, to complement each other. Even when one is absent, the other should represent the friend!7

Hats off to this great mind and genius who is on the world’s top list of mathematician 👌🏻

Pratyaksham Bala
Posts: 4164
Joined: 21 May 2010, 16:57

Re: Titbits

Post by Pratyaksham Bala »

.
AMICABLE NUMBERS

"Pythagoras when asked, "What is a friend", replied that a friend is one "who is the other I" such as 220 and 284. The numbers 220 and 284 form the smallest pair of amicable numbers (also known as friendly numbers) known to Pythagoras."

"The smallest amicable pair (220, 284) is known from antiquity and so much significance was attached to it that the possessor of one was assured of close friendship with the possessor of the other number of the pair and so much so some marriages have been made in the past on the basis of amicable numbers.

"It was not until 1636 that the great Pierre de Fermat discovered another pair of amicable numbers (17296, 18416). Later Descartes gave the third pair of amicable numbers i.e. (9363584, 9437056). These results were actually rediscoveries of numbers known to Arab mathematicians. In the 18th century great Euler drew up a list of 64 amiable pairs (two of which later shown to be unfriendly). B.N.I. Paganini, a 16 years Old Italian, startled the mathematical world in 1866 by announcing that the numbers 1184 and 1210 were friendly. It was the second lowest pair and had been completely overlooked until then, Even Eulers list of Amicable pairs does not contain it. Today(28 Sept, 2007) about 11994387 pairs of amicable numbers is known."

For further reading:
http://www.shyamsundergupta.com/amicable.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amicable_numbers

thanjavooran
Posts: 2972
Joined: 03 Feb 2010, 04:44

Re: Titbits

Post by thanjavooran »

Shri Pratyaksham Bala,
Many thanks for the additional information. Very interesting links.
With wishes,
Thanjavooran
23 04 2018

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