Unsavory encounter with make-up artiste during arangetram

pmarjun · Post by **pmarjun** » 08 Aug 2008, 17:10

I wish to bring rasikas attention to an extremely stressful and traumatic experience that we had with well-known make-up artiste Sethumadhavan. We live in the USA and were recently in Chennai to peform the arangetram of my 2 daughters, aged 17 and 13. We had contracted his services for make-up and costume and were told that he had done the make-up for practically every leading dancer/South Indian film star and was good at his art. We had no clue what we had let ourselves in for.

When he showed up to do the make-up, initially things were fine. Then gradually, he started behaving in a very lewd and crass manner with the girls, especially my younger daughter and my 11 year old niece who was with them. He started touching them inappropriately and needlessly using "costume fixing" as an excuse. He was pawing them at every chance he got. This, inspite of my wife and her cousin being right there in front of him. Both of them had to drag the girls out of his hands several times. As it is, an arangetram is stressful enough; this creep added to the pressure on the girls by his unwarranted and cheap antics. One can only imagine how traumatic it was for the children.

For those wondering why my wife and cousin did not alert anyone during the program, they did not do so, because 1. they did not want to create a scene 2. it was an arangetram and they did not want to chance him ruining my daughters' make-up and costume out of spite. 3. We had been informed that he had a quick temper and could walk out if he got annoyed.

Next day my wife mentioned that at the beginning of the program, she was talking to one well-known danseuse and casually mentioned that Sethu was doing the makeup for them; the lady immediately said, "What are you doing here sitting next to me? Go and take care of your girls. He is not a good man." It was only then that my wife realized that the girls might be in trouble. She immediately went backstage into the green room and found my cousin who was taking care of the girls by herself, struggling to juggle her presence between the two. We later learnt that when my wife sent my niece out of the room, he started following her around.

Since we were in Chennai for just a couple more days, we couldn't do anything or take any action immediately. We are not sure how many people have had this kind of experience with this guy but chose to sweep it under the carpet out of embarrassment. But we felt that we have to inform people about this character and make sure that what happened to my daughters doesn't happen to anyone else.

rshankar · Post by **rshankar** » 08 Aug 2008, 19:17

That indeed is a very unfortunate experience for the girls. I hope they have recovered well.

manvantara · Post by **manvantara** » 09 Aug 2008, 03:15

pmarjun, sorry that your girls had to go through this - well, at least I am glad your wife was around and did whatever she could.

I wonder how such people continue to be "successful" in their profession in spite of stooping to such levels - it is a real shame. I think that people should simply boycott such persons. This is a very serious offence and yet, because of the "chalta hai" attitude in India, anyone seems to be able to get away with just about anything.

VK RAMAN · Post by **VK RAMAN** » 09 Aug 2008, 03:56

We parents should take full responsibility for our children's safety and security when we organize a public event to celebrate their accomplishment. Police authorities of the city should be notified of this pedophile so future such incidents are avoided and they keep watch on this guy's activity.

thanjavooran · Post by **thanjavooran** » 09 Aug 2008, 04:46

An unpleasant experience. Able to imagine the mental agony experienced by the caring parents. Really feel sorry. All NRI s should be cautioned.
thanjavooran

PUNARVASU · Post by **PUNARVASU** » 09 Aug 2008, 06:20

You have done a great service by bringing this to the notice of the public.

raj-123 · Post by **raj-123** » 09 Aug 2008, 11:01

Yes, I am not sure how you can bring such people to justice. I did a google search on him and found following articles, with his address and phone. Did you confront him afterwards? I mean when you paid him? Is he through an agent? Did the dance teacher in USA recommended him? I am curious why you preferred to do Arangetram in India than in USA.

interview
http://www.narthaki.com/info/intervw/intrvw7.html

for a school in S Cal, for several girls
http://www.narthaki.com/info/reviews/review66.html

Nick H · Post by **Nick H** » 09 Aug 2008, 11:18

I really hope you were not at all generous in settling the man's account.

Perhaps some of the crazy stereotypes about western women/girls apply to NRIs in this man's warped mind --- but it is not our concern to psycho-analyse him, and it is just as likely that he may think that a non-resident family is unlikely to have friends in the police.

Quite apart from some of the cost considerations (quite likely nullified by air fares) that attract some people, I think that for many, the fact of performing Indian art on Indian soil has a special significance, and that is even more so for an arangetram.

Arjun, I hope the event went well, and that you can let us know some of the better news about it.

rshankar · Post by **rshankar** » 09 Aug 2008, 19:39

nick H wrote:Perhaps some of the crazy stereotypes about western women/girls apply to NRIs in this man's warped mind --- but it is not our concern to psycho-analyse him, and it is just as likely that he may think that a non-resident family is unlikely to have friends in the police.

Even if the stereotypes were true, he had no business behaving the way he did. No amount of psycho-analysis will justify this sort of pedophilia - he was predatory, and needs to be shunned,

ragam-talam · Post by **ragam-talam** » 09 Aug 2008, 23:03

pmarjun wrote:Since we were in Chennai for just a couple more days, we couldn't do anything or take any action immediately.

While we can understand your reluctance to do anything during the program, surely you could have at least reported this incident to the police before you left the place?
Also, based on what you say, it seems it's common knowledge (at least amongst certain quarters) about this guy's criminal behaviors. The fact that people haven't taken action so far, and worse still, continue to give him business, suggests people's apathy to such matters.
Surely an arangetram is not more important than a young girl's mental and physical well-being?

manikand28 · Post by **manikand28** » 09 Aug 2008, 23:19

Based on the above links in Nartaki, Sethumadhavan is a very accompished make up artist having accompanied virtually every famous artist like Sudharany, Yamimi krishnamurthy, several others. He has been awarded prizes by President R Venkataram and others. He is over 70 years of age, Is he the same guy you are referring to? I will be quite amazed if it is the same Sethumadhavan and has been doing this for years.

I urge the original poster to visit the forum and reply to all the questions posted so far. And anyone else in the forum please also respond to the allegations, Without knowing all aspects of the case, I will be hesitant to arrive at a speedy conclusion. I could not find any report on this guy at all and he has been a make up artist for around 50 years.

Nick H · Post by **Nick H** » 10 Aug 2008, 01:13

rshankar wrote:
nick H wrote:Perhaps some of the crazy stereotypes about western women/girls apply to NRIs in this man's warped mind --- but it is not our concern to psycho-analyse him, and it is just as likely that he may think that a non-resident family is unlikely to have friends in the police.
Even if the stereotypes were true, he had no business behaving the way he did. No amount of psycho-analysis will justify this sort of pedophilia - he was predatory, and needs to be shunned,

I completely agree.

My comment was not intended to to be any sort of excuse whatsoever.

Nick H · Post by **Nick H** » 10 Aug 2008, 01:14

manikand28, there are certainly grave dangers in an online forum becoming judge and jury.

arasi · Post by **arasi** » 10 Aug 2008, 02:17

Why should the parents who wanted to do others a good turn by posting the awful incident on the forum have to answer anyone's questions? For caring about other young women out there and for reporting the agony they went through? It is stress enough to deal with all the work which goes into one's children's debut performance. Add to it all the travel and arrangements thousands of miles away from where they live. They did their utmost in asking around for the best arrangements, from the locals. They did not have a clue about the make-up artiste except for the fact that he was very accomplished.
After going through what they did, they could have kept quiet--like many others who did in the past. I admire the way the parents coped with it, and their poor daughters, too, and were courageous enough to carry on with the performance. It was not as if they knew the man until he arrived at the scene with his make-up kit.They could not have kicked out the man and found a replacement for him in a few minutes time! The show had to go on, and they guarded their children by sticking around them, even though they had other things to do, meeting the attendees and so on.
After saying all this, I am also wondering how the children of the make-up artistes would feel if they read this--it is sad that however accomplished they are in their fields--as one of the links speaks about them--reading such a thing about their father would sadden them for sure.
We cannot play judges on the forum.
The cautionary tale is valuable indeed, for future arangEtram artistes and their parents. Once again, I think it was courageous of the parents here to come out with this information.
The well-known good words are: may the happiness we experience, spread out and reach the rest of the world. Another dimension to it is this: may the misery I suffer better not be suffered by others. It shows that you care...

arasi · Post by **arasi** » 10 Aug 2008, 02:26

And about reporting this incident to the police can be summed up this way: innocents abroad! Even the locals cannot deal with the police , if I am not mistaken. In his long career, I bet the make-up artiste befriended a lot of 'higher ups' who could have made it a continuing story of agony for the family. Moreover, how would it have been possible for them to be at court hearings--living in a far off country?

pmarjun · Post by **pmarjun** » 10 Aug 2008, 08:20

Thank you everyone for your words of support. Apologies for the delayed reply - I was attending to some urgent business.I would like to respond to all who replied:

rshankar, yes, the girls are recovering - but I think it would have left an indelible impression on them. I just hope that it does not affect them too badly.

manvantara, yes, my wife did her best, once she came to know about this guy. The 'chalta hai' attitude was one of the reasons we decided to post on this Forum.

VK Raman, agreed. However, we were not sure if the police in Chennai would entertain any complaint of this sort. We all know how the system works.

Thanjavooran, Thanks. It was really quite shocking for us and the girls.

Punarvasu, Thanks. That was the intent - that people should know about this man and be cautious in dealing with him.

raj-123, We were wondering the same thing. We googled him and came across the same articles. No, when I paid him, immediately after the program, I was not aware of what he had done. We were made aware of him through some contacts in Chennai; no the dance teacher did not recommend him. We preferred to do the arangetram in India primarily because most of our relatives in India have never seen the girls dance, so we figured having it in India would give them this opportunity. Plus, their grandfather recently had a bypass surgery in Chennai and was advised against travel. Of course, from a cost perspective, too it worked out for us!

Nick H, well, we just settled his account after the program, that was the extent of our generosity. Thanks for your kind words; yes the event went well; the Chief Guest, Mr. R. Krishnaswamy, Secretary Narada Gana Sabha and the Guest of Honor, Mr. A V Jayaraman, Vice President, Karthik Fine Arts, both had good words to say about the girls. They were also reviewed in the "Vartha" a Telugu daily and the reviewer also spoke glowingly of their performance.

ragam-talam, Like I mentioned earlier, not sure what the police would have done. Anyone who has lived for a long period of time in India knows how these things work. Plus, if you look at it, even if we had, it would have been our word against someone who is well-known in dance and movie circles. We had absolutely no idea that this man would behave as we did - if we had even an inkling, we would have definitely not contracted him. I don't think I would be in a position to comment if it is common knowledge in some quarters,. Yes, I fully agree that a girls mental and physical well-being is of utmost importance; hence we figured that by making people aware of what we went through, maybe some good would come out of it.

manikand28, I really would not be in a position to comment on his accomplishments and what he has been doing all these year. what I stated happened to us and basically, that's what it is. I have no ulterior motive in writing about this man, since I had never heard about him before the arangetram. It is not for us to draw any conclusions. Nor was I alleging anything; no need to: it actually happened to my girls! My only intent in posting this was: look, this is what happened with my girls; if someone wants to hire this guy, they know what you can expect. Information is power; after that, how one chooses to use it is left to each individual.

arasi, Thank you so much for your comments. You are absolutely spot on with your observations. It was difficult no doubt, but we felt that as parents, we had an obligation to other parents - that what we went through should not happen to others who might want to do a program in Chennai. We are proud of our girls for sticking it out there and walking out of the hall with positive feedback and a sense of accomplishment. We are sure that they will have the strength to overcome this incident and grow as individuals and dancers.

That incident apart, doing an arangetram in Chennai, in front of a knowledgeable audience was a challenging and rewarding experience for the girls; we hope they get more opportunities to perform there. For those rasikas from Chennai, we would be very happy if you could attend their programs when they do perform.

I am also encouraged and gratified by the responses from the posters on the forum. I am now hooked onto this. Thank you everyone!